East Riding Conservative Councillor Rupert DeBeers today refuted claims of verbal abuse and driving a woman to the point of suicide with a popular brand of pork sausage.

Former Political Secretary Phillippa Adcock sobbed as she recalled her first day as DeBeers's assistant, “I mustered up the courage to reveal I was an emotionally fragile pre-op transsexual and he told me I looked like 'a revolting bollock-bag in a frock'.

She alleged the Councillor would often gorge himself on chipolatas in her presence: “He'd tongue the tip, moan and thrust it between his pursed lips before eagerly nibbling its meaty length. He seemed aroused at my distress and would whisper: 'Your tears are my gravy'”.

Yet DeBeers maintained the victim “enjoyed the attention” saying, “She found it hilarious. Many's the time we all laughed until she cried.”

He added, “Watching her nervous and increasingly desperate attempts to conceal the signs of self harm was hilarious. It was like Lee Evans doing a really long routine, but with bloodstained sleeves and a cheerless fucking face.”

DeBeers seemed oblivious to his actions: “I always thought Mr Adcock took this playful banter for what it was … a succession of warm and light-hearted jibes at his pathetic insecurities and unnaturally repulsive gender. I do hope he wasn't upset in any way, like a big fucking girl.”

Miss Adcock further claimed DeBeers was often inappropriate to others, “He once interrupted a Cabinet meeting with advice to 'deport all hairdressers', a rant about how the Nazi's were 'broadly right, but wrong to trust the Nips', and a rambling account of a recurrent wet dream featuring 'Boris Johnson country dancing'.”

DeBeers hit back, “If anyone's going to be offended it should be me. I've been forced to share an office with someone confused enough to contemplate cutting off his pan handle and having a second arsehole fitted up front.”

“I've a good mind to write to my MP, but he's Labour and likely to be more in touch with his feminine side than Nick Clegg. No one wants some lefty queer issuing Adcock with a state handout, happy in the knowledge he'll use it on provocative shades of lipstick and a new pair of breasts.”