The Breakfast Show host was attracted to Santander by their six month interest free option, friendly customer service and snazzy logo resembling a bright-red poo freshly curled onto the corner of your flexible friend.

 

But Mr. Comfort forgot to switch to an alternative credit card at the end of his introductory offer, and after the unexpected demand thudded onto his doormat the turd-shaped emblem quickly lost its appeal.

 

The out-of-pocket DJ said: “It was very embarrassing having my card rejected. The chip and pin machine in Waterstones pinged just as I was purchasing Superstar DJ Here We Go: A Practical Guide to Airwave Wizardry by Messrs Travis, Edmonds and Savile.”

 

“But what angered me most was the person in the queue behind who said: ‘Should have left it to Levy. I hear his plastic is Platinum.’”

 

A source at the BBC said it was "quite likely" a campaign to aid the impoverished DJ would replace this year's Children in Need, fronted not by a lovely cute bear but by a character symbolising the helpless plight of the little man who finds himself crushed beneath the heel of rampant capitalism.

 

“We’re thinking a big fat bloated It’s a Knockout-style Investment Banker who lures you into his arms on the pretence of a cuddle but then breaks your fingers and beats you into oblivion if you refuse to hand over your savings.”

"Or a big bouncy pound sign that gives you a kiss then kicks you in the bollocks. You get the idea."